the cigarettes have been on my porch for almost two weeks. only smoked three halves thus far. i dont really care im thinking of going back to church. not to meet god, but. i havent been since.....2000? probably. yeah, thats it. im considering church cos.... i hope some of them are pure of heart. well i think the ratio of the purehearted to the desperately wicked is prolly better. im sick of the meanness. and the fuckedupness. i know church people are messed up too but..... the camping trip was blissful. my little one sustained various minor injuries... that part was a little nerve racking. camping can be very dangerous. well, hiking and rock throwing in particular. betsy kept telling me i had to relax. it was hard but i managed. justus had the best time ever. he was so cute. there was another star wars kid there who was his age and they had a great time. incidentally, jus knows more about the trilogy than the other little boy. yes. RAISIN MY BOY RIGHT! haha. now to teach him to read. how do you do that.....? in light of recent occurrances it was lovely to be missing from bakersfield for so long. in the high sierras with the massive trees, the milky way and the waterfalls. and the thunderstorms. yes, it rained on the tent. the sky was stunningly beautiful. im so glad i was there.... thatll sustain me for some time. as we packed the car to leave camp jus was wandering around looking very disconsolate. i said "are you alright honey?" "um....im having a problem mommy" "whats the problem? did you pee your pants?" "no.....*heavy sigh* the fun is all over and thats my problem" awwwww. i used to cry when i left the mountains too. what a cool baby i have. | 